Gaysha
by Msrukia
Summary: Spring is here and with it,romance,festivities and a large bout of insanity that can only be found at Horitsuba Gakuen! While no one really knows Yuuko's true intentions,this year's spring festival is bound to be unforgettable. Co-written with Mashiara91


**A/N: Hey, Msrukia here! It's my first fic on ! It's a fic that has a bit of everything that Mashiara91 (My twin!) and I like, find funny or even experienced at some point or other :P don't worry, it wasn't anything illegal, just a street festival we all enjoyed. Has some crack but then again, everything is plausible in CLAMP universe and especially Horitsuba Gakuen so it might not be considered crack at all~ **

**Enjoy~**

Chapter 1: 

It was a normal day in Horitsuba Gakuen, the Mokona we chirping, the hormones were raging, and the teens were sneaking off into various deserted corners of the school grounds. Syaoran and Sakura who were initially planning on taking up their usual positions under the _sakura_ tree, were currently sitting on a rock trying as hard as they could to ignore the "Oooh Seishiro-sensei" and the deep throated "Subaru-kun you're so appetizing in that uniform" coming from said location. Even Watanuki was hiding in the broom closet, unaware that Doumeki had procured the spare key from a more than excited Principal.

Speaking of the principal, a mischievous smile was currently tugging at the corners of Yuuko-san's lips, as she pictured the outcome of her diabolical plans. _Oh, it's going to be amazing. This festival is going down in history! It's going to be legendary!_ The headmistress broke into a fit of evil laughter.

ooo

Meanwhile the shrieks from under a certain _sakura_ tree were getting most unbearably erotic. In response, Syaoran only managed a weak, "We have to g-" before fainting and Sakura was too engrossed in the scene to even notice.

It was only a few nosebleeds later that she thought to nudge her companion awake, and with an uncharacteristically forward smile on her face, she said, "This looks like so much fun Syaoran-kun!" She then proceeded to pounce on the innocent unsuspecting boy who had only just managed to blink himself awake, only to faint again.

Sakura's now feral smiled widened at the sight, "Aww Syaoran-kun is so shy! It's cute!"

"Isn't he?" sighed a familiar voice from behind her.

"S-s-syaoron-kun!" she stuttered shyly, "Uuuhh… This.. uh.. isn't what it looks like!"

"But it will be."

It took a moment for Sakura to process the twin's intentions. And then it clicked, "Oh. Well, I suppose we _could_ share him."

There was only a brief moment of silence before they both chimed happily, "_Ittadakimasu_!"

Nearby, the previously engaged couple had to stop their ministrations at the sounds of "Onii-san!" "Syaoran-kun!" accompanied by a few interspersed grunts and what seemed like an interesting wake-up call with half-hearted squeaks of protest coming from behind a rock.

"Twins… Interesting, they seem to be on to something." Seishiro said while reaching into his pocket.

Subaru, annoyed at the sudden lack of interest looked up only to hear Seishiro say into his cell, "Fuuma, bring your pet. Meet me at the tree."

ooo

At the same moment, someone else had also heard the distant "_Ittadakimasu_" Watanuki smiled proudly from within the broom closet while exclaiming with triumph "Huh! At least someone's enjoying my food!"

Doumeki being the ever observant student that he was interjected with a quiet "That's not what they're doing."

"Stupid Doumeki! What are you doing here? Why do you keep stalking me?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"JUST ANSWER ME!" came the heated response from within the closet.

"Ok."

With a soft click, the door was soon slammed open to reveal an immaculately dressed Doumeki with a rose in his mouth, still managing to maintain his signature stoic look.

At this sight, even the usually flailing Watanuki stood perfectly still, his mouth slighty open. Doumeki needed no further invitation as he proceeded to take the rose out of his lips and place between Watanuki's teeth. The latter barely had time to blink before Doumeki stepped into the closet's narrow confines, shutting the door calmly behind him.

ooo

Yuui, who was still finding it hard to adapt to the school's strange atmosphere, thought it might be refreshing to visit his dear twin down in the chemistry lab. How wrong he was. Once he opened the door he froze, realizing that Fai was standing, arms open wide, head towards the sky, a closed Asian fan in his mouth and… wait what?

"Ahh Fai?"

"Ooh ymmuiii zatt uuu?" said Fai through the fan

"Is this a new erotic game of yours?"

Surprised by his twin's sudden appearance, Fai took the artifact out of his mouth and stuttered trying to explain and failing miserably.

"It's for tonight…"

"Yeah I figured, but really brother I'm not sure that's healthy…"

"No, no, I have to be a Geisha!"

"A… Gay-sha?" said the newly arrived foreigner who has no inkling whatsoever what his twin was referring to.

"Yes!" replied the blond twin with a manic look on his face. "It's a surprise. Shhhh Kuro-sensei doesn't know anything."

"I'm not sure he'd wanna know Fai, Heck, _I_ didn't wanna know!"

"But it's fun! Yuuko-san's preparing everything!"

"I should have known. Maybe Kurogane-san's right about her," mumbled a doubting Yuui as he turned to escape the madness.

"Oh oh Yuui! Can you pass by the teacher's dorms and get me the white bottle I left at the table, pwease~~"

Yuui agreed hurriedly, wanting to keep his thoughts as far away possible from contemplating the contents of said bottle. He sighed and walked away from his twin who decided to carry on with his crazy antics.

Fai was soon waving around fans and snapping his wrists so hard trying to get them to open up on their own, it looked so beautiful on TV, but damn it was hard! And his wrists were starting to hurt. He tried many "positions" from flapping his fans like a newborn bird to swinging them like baseball bats, he even went as far as to simulate a samurai sword fight using the elaborate Japanese fans. Safe to say that at the end of his practice session he was beat!

Yuuko-san never mentioned that dancing like a Geisha was going to be this hard! And wearing a kimono, while dancing and twirling fans around is definitely going to complicate things further. But he had to do it. It was a Japanese festival after all, and what better way to show his love to a certain big puppy than to re-create a part of the latter's culture? Oh he couldn't wait to see the look on Kuro-sensei's face when he walks on stage clad in his immaculate Geisha outfit, with the traditional make-up and the complicated hair style.

_Well_, he thought, _I better start getting ready and I still have to ask Yuuko-san if Geishas can give lap-dances hyuuuu~ I wonder if Yuui found the bottle yet. This is gonna be so much fun! _

_ooo_

Meanwhile, the object of Fai's affection was peacefully sipping tea in the headmistress' office. The Witch, as he most _fondly_ referred to her as, had called him over to discuss "important issues" concerning the Japanese festival they were holding at this school today. Knowing the headmistress, it was bound to be something either obscene or otherworldly. It was most likely the former or even both.

"So Kurogane-sensei, have you made the final preparations for tonight's most looked-forward-to event?" she asked with a "sweet" smile. As if that woman's smile can be sweet. Evil fit it better, conniving maybe, but never sweet.

"Yeah, yeah the kids'll fight, I've taught 'em well..." He replied, choosing to ignore the incessant, almost nagging smile the woman was sending his way.

"Good, good… I'm sure the Kendo display will be most exquisite."

"Whatever, if there's nothing else you want from me, I'll be—"

"Not so fast Kurogane." She said with such authority that the gym teacher froze and stiffly turned around to face the principal.

"I forgot to mention an important detail about tonight: some teachers are going to participate in the show. They were specifically hand-picked by me so they're definitely going to perform wonderfully"

"And why should I care?"

"Oh no reason, I just thought I'd warn.. woops I mean, _tell_ you" she said, her smile widening.

As Kurogane walked out of the office he was sure that nothing good was going to come out of this night.


End file.
